Tag Archives: drunk

10th December 2011: Girls kissing girls, for guys?

Well I haven’t written anything in a while because my life has been utterly bland, and nothing has happened at all… But last night, I went out for the first time in ages, and my attention was drawn to this thing which is girls, who aren’t sexually attracted to each other, kissing.

I have a feeling there is a word for it, but I can’t think of it. I know that a lot of the younger girls kiss and make out in front of guys, for attention or… Something?

What happened last night – well it was actually brilliant. My friend Allie and I managed to convince two guys that we would kiss, if they did. It took a while, but eventually they agreed. It was great: it wasn’t just a quick peck on the lips. They pressed their mouths together hard enough for their lips to get all squished up, and they did it for long enough for the image to be permanently burnt into my memory. Allie and I laughed so extremely much because we won incredibly well.

But the fact that they believed it must say something about the expectations of the male population of my area. And possibly other areas? They were both rather masculine guys, maybe they were secure in their masculinity, enough to kiss another guy in a room of people, or maybe they were just drunk. I find the idea that girls kiss just for male attention a bit repulsive really, I have no problem with anything like that and have kissed plenty of my friends of femaleness, on the lips (including Allie) just not for the enjoyment of others. It’s rather degrading, in my opinion.

Anyway, sexuality is an odd thing.

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23rd October 2011: He followed me home..

In movies and such, there is often a scene where the female is ambushed by a  person/s with not-nice intent, but I sort of thought it was just an exaggeration, or that it only happened in cities, or something like that.

Much oddness, and naivety on my part.

Last night, I was at my neighbours house for her 18th birthday. It was great fun, spent my time dancing to (honestly pretty crap) music, not caring cause it was so funny and there was free drink and smiles all around, gently rejecting a few approaches, having fun and chilling out.

At about 4am I was in a caravan next to the house and I decided it was time to go home, so I left, and trotted of quite smartly as there was this guy, P, who had arrived, and I didn’t want anyone staying over at mine.

He got out too so I went into the house and got my jacket, and hoped he would go back. But when I came out he was pissing by the side of the house so with averted eyes I scaled the fence- a puny little thing- and I heard him call after me. Nearly running I got to the side door and saw that my mother had been an idiot and left the keys on the outside again, something I was thankful for at that moment. I could hear him climbing over the fence. I yanked the keys out and was inside the house pulling the door closed, when he got in the way. I was just that bit too slow.  I was standing in the doorway, blocking it to prevent him from coming in. He asked if he could stay and I told him no: my mother and her boyfriend were here, and one of her friends was staying over.

He proceeded to ask repeatedly if he could and I kept saying he couldn’t, and still he kept on asking if he could. I told him, nicely, to go back over and to sleep in the caravan as there was space there… But he was having none of it, and then asked me what I would say if he asked for a kiss. AGH. I told him I would say no, and he went into the whole routine of  ”Don’t you like me?” and then started asking if and why I preferred D- a cute little guy who I’m friends with and who has been included in some rumours relating to me lately, which are false, just because I stayed over at his house. I told him I didn’t and that nothing was going on there, and in fact I hadn’t touched a guy since A. He asked if I was just using him, why I was being a bitch, all this nonsense. I was trying to be all “assertive” but he was being such a PRICK. To be honest, I had the keys in one of my hands and a fist in the other, and I think he noticed because he was like “Oh you’re getting violent now” so I told him I wasn’t, but that  if he didn’t back off then I would. I was trying to remember how to defend ones self against a larger opponent, while keeping him and distracted.

In the end I was getting fair pissed at him and he kept on asking for a kiss, “just one little kiss” and then giving out to me because of other guys, and so when he left I had to let him, even though it was with throwing comments back at me, and being thoroughly unpleasant. I didn’t want to wake up my mother to come down and deal with a drunk prat who was harassing me, I know I should be able to deal with that kind of thing myself.

The way it is though, I can pack quite a punch but I don’t want to if I don’t have to, and I knew he was drunk and we are sort of friends normally anyway.. And he owes me a bit of money. I didn’t want people to think I was a bitch, or that I had overreacted or anything.

That pretty much ruined my evening; I was a bit shaky, wanted to beat the crap out of him, and I was also upset because he was being trés mean..

I’ve never experienced anything so.. Blatant, before.

It was not nice. Sadface :(

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