I suspect this is quite a widespread problem but… I have this thing where I am really tired, but when I eventually get to bed, I can’t sleep.
It’s not only that really: my whole sleeping pattern is fucked up. On an average school night I get 4-6 hours sleep, and 6 makes me feel proud- I automatically check how long I will get to sleep before I go to bed. Then on the weekend, it depends where I sleep. If I stay at some one’s house, after a night out, with nothing to do the next day… I might get 15 hours of sleep. It’s quite annoying really, and has resulted in me missing my lift home a couple of times (she drives back from work around 5pm). Then sometimes on the weekend, for certain reasons, I might not be able to sleep for a while, and then after that I feel like shite and have to rest loads.
Last weekend, I slept until 5pm on Sunday and then tried to go to bed again at 12, having school the next day. That didn’t work….
Today, I got home and I went upstairs to my room. I planned on reading a book because I haven’t been doing much of that recently. I was unable to though. I had figured that I had a lot of time because I hadn’t much homework and I wasn’t cooking dinner, nor was I painting. Instead, I got into bed, made a playlist for a couple of hours, and lay there in a stupor while it played. I wasn’t asleep because I didn’t want to give up on my plan of reading. But I wasn’t awake because I dreamt. I think I sort of half slept. It was rather unsatisfying, really. It happens regularly though, that I sacrifice my after-school time to sleep.
Right now, it’s heading towards 1 am. I got up from my “rest” at around 10, read my book. But because I’m so used to going to bed at later times, I was in no hurry to do stuff like make my lunch, because it didn’t sound late to be starting something, to me. I know that when I eventually do go to bed, I will most likely lie in the dark, listening to music, unable to sleep for a while, despite being wrecked. That’s generally what happens.
Why can I always sleep when I want to do stuff, and not when I want to?